I'm approaching 37 years in public service..... The last 18 as a middle school teacher. I'm tired. It's not my age, although I am getting frighteningly close to 60 years of experience on this planet. Even though I have every reason to be contented and happy I find a dark cloud hanging over me. I have the most wonderful wife, family and friends. I have been blessed with two grandchildren and a third on the way. Well, let's just say I could spend significant time counting my blessing.....and it wouldn't make me feel any better. I'm not enjoying my job. I seem to work harder and harder as my students work less and less. There's a lack of work ethic, motivation and drive in them that I can't seem to change. Schools have taken a pounding from politicians and the press with headlines screaming about schools failing our children. Teachers are the problem...not a part of the solution. My definition of success has narrowed to the point of having to get one particular student to pass a test so our school isn't labeled a failure. Forget the other 85 students I work with...we need our special education students to pass so we meet AMO - Annual Measurable Objectives.
I believe all children can learn.... I don't believe all children can learn the same things at the same level. My days have become a data driven whirl of testing and paperwork designed to get that one kid to pass and to prove that I doing something to insure that success.
I remember the day I got my first teaching job....I don't remember the exact day, but I remember the feeling. I was going to be a teacher and I was going to be great! Where is that excitement? I'm feeling sucked dry and that feeling is starting to bleed over into my life outside school. I need an attitude adjustment and that's where "One Thing" comes in. I admit I borrowed this from the movie City Slickers. This was Curly's advice to the character played by Billy Crystal....to be happy in life you need one thing. Chrystal's character desperately wants to know what that one things is......but as Curly says - you have to find that out for yourself. I figure there's one thing each day that gives me joy, makes me feel good, makes the day worthwhile. Those are the moments I need to focus on and I hope writing this blog will help me zero in on those moments that might not take my breath away, but definitely make my life one worth living to it's fullest.